Comedy
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1.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Q:DAVID’S FATHER HAD THREE SONS
A:SNAP,CRACKLE,AND DAVID!
2.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 8:17 pm
KNOCK KNOCK!
HOWS THERE?
JUSTIN
JUSTIN WHO?
YOUR JUST-IN TIME FOR DINNER!!!
3.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 8:23 pm
A CAR OF TWO BROTHERS BROKE DOWN RIGHT BESIDE A WELL,
SO THEY GOT OUT AND SAID “HEY LOOK A WELL,I WONDER HOW DEEP IT GOES?” SO THEY PICKED UP A ROCK AND THREW IT DOWN,BUT THAT DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. SO THEY PICKED UP A HEAVY LOG AND THREW IT DOWN,ALL OF A SUDDEN OUT OF NOWHERE A GOAT CAME RUNNING OUT AND JUMPED INTO THE WELL. THEN A HALF HOUR LATER WHILE THE BROTHERS WERE FIXING THE CAR A FARMER CAME OUT OF THE WOODS SAYING “DID YOU SEE MY GOAT?,I TIED IT TO LOG RIGHT OVER HERE!”
4.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 8:23 pm
I’LL SUBMIT MORE LATER!!!
5.
beetleblue | October 14, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Ok I will write your jokes down on the page. thx for submitting them!
6.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 11:02 pm
WELCOME BUT JUST WONDERING IS ANYONE AGAINST BLONDE JOKES IF SO I’LL USE DIFF. HAIR COLORS
7.
harley23 | October 14, 2007 at 11:07 pm
oh wow, i have lots of jokes! I’ll have to submit them! I have tons and tons!!!! if only some weren’t meant to be prank phone calls…
8.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 11:12 pm
A CHINESE MAN CAME TO AMERICA TO LEARN ENGLISH SO HE WENT TO SCHOOL,AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING THERE WAS “YES YES YES YES YES” SO THE CHINESE MAN LEARNED: YES. THEN HE WENT TO A RESTURAUNT AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING THERE WAS “FORKS AND KNIVES FORKS AND KNIVES FORKS AND KNIVES” SO THE CHINESE MAN LEARNED: FORKS AND KNIVES. THEN HE STOPPED IN A CANDY SHOP AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING THERE WAS “HE STOLE MY LOLLIPOP HE STOLE MY LOLLIPOP HE STOLE MY LOLLIPOP” SO THE CHINESE MAN LEARNED: HE STOLE MY LOLLIPOP. THEN HE WENT HOME AND TURNED ON THE T.V AND THE PLUG IT IN COMERCIAL WAS ON SO THE CHINESE MAN LEARNED:PLUG IT IN PLUG IT IN.
THEN HE WAS WALKING ALONG SIDE THE ROAD AND STOPPED BECAUSE THERE WAS A DEAD MAN ON THE SIDE,,ALL OF A SUDDEN THE COPS PULLED HIM OVER AND SAID “DID YOU KILL THIS MAN?”
THE CHINESE MAN ANSWERED “YES” THEN THEY ASKED “WITH WHAT?” THE CHINESE MAN ANSWERED “FORKS AND KNIVES” THEY ASKED HIM “WHY???” THE MAN ANSWERED “HE STOLE MY LOLLIPOP!”
THE COPS SAID WE’RE GONNA PUT YOU IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!!! THE CHINESE MAN ANSWERED “PLUG IT IN PLUG IT IN”
9.
harley23 | October 14, 2007 at 11:15 pm
I’ve heard that joke told in so very many different ways! However, this is the first time I’ve heard it in this particular way….
10.
maddie45467 | October 14, 2007 at 11:19 pm
OK A KID,THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE WORLD, AN ARTIST, AND A VERY OLD PRIEST WERE ON A PLANE ABOUT TO CRASH, WITH ONLY 3 PARACHUTES. THE SMARTEST GUY SAID I SHOULD TAKE THE FIRST ONE BECAUSE WELL…..I’M THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE WORLD!SO HE JUMPED OFF.
NEXT THE ARTIST SAID I SHOULD TAKE THE NEXT ONE WELL……BECAUSE PEOPLE “NEED” MY PAINTINGS! SO HE JUMPED OFF.
NEXT THE PRIEST SAID O GOSH KID YOU SHOULD TAKE THE LAST ONE I MEEN I’M REALLY OLD…..THE KID ANSWERED NO..THE PRIEST SAID WELL NO YOU BETTER….THE KID SAID NO! THE PRIEST ANSWERED WELL WHY?? THE KID SAID O THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE WORLD TOOK MY BACKPACK!!
11.
harley23 | October 14, 2007 at 11:33 pm
Ok here’s a joke:
”
”
A business man, a lawyer, and a state senator were in a helicopter. The senator drops an apple out the window. The other two ask “why’d ya do that?” He responded, “I wasn’t gonna finish it.” The the lawyer drops a banana out the window. The other two asked, “why’d ya do that?” He said, “cause I felt like it.” Then the business man drops a bomb out the window. The other two responded “WHY’D YA DO THAT???” He said, “It’s not like I needed it!” So later, the lawyer walks by a little kid crying, and asks “what’s wrong?” The kid says, “a banana fell on my head!!!
The senator walks by a kid crying and asks “what’s wrong?”
The kid says, “a banana fell on my head!
The business man walks by a little kid laughing. He says “what’s so funny?”
The kid says, “I burped, and the whole house blew up!”
12.
harley23 | October 14, 2007 at 11:37 pm
yo mama jokes, well idk, some people here my get outta hand with em’ and could get in trouble for using them at school or something. I do know a lot and lot of those kinda jokes though
13.
harley23 | October 14, 2007 at 11:39 pm
oh i know a dumb blonde joke!!!
Q: how do you make a dumb blonde drown?
A: Stick a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool
and a second part to that joke
Q: How do you make her sister drown?
A: Tell her to go perform CPR on her at the bottom of the pool
14.
beetleblue | October 15, 2007 at 12:45 am
should i post these jokes on the page or let you comment the jokes and submit jokes i find on the jokes pg?
15.
Sign up for sprenz’s club. password for this post is: club « Club Penguin | October 15, 2007 at 12:48 am
[...] jokes! jump to navigation [...]
16.
IRISHBEST7 | October 15, 2007 at 1:07 am
OMG I LOVE THESE JOKES!!!!!
17.
beetleblue | October 15, 2007 at 11:28 am
thanx!!!! but SHOULD I PUT THESE JOKES ON THE PAGE OR LET THEM SIT IN THE COMMNETS FOR UR EXTRA ENJOYMENT AND ME FIND JOKES FOR THE TOP MYSELF?
18.
beetleblue | October 15, 2007 at 11:36 am
Ok i think thats what im doing. i know so much other jokes but i forgot ‘em. grrrr!
19.
feathergrl55 | October 16, 2007 at 8:10 am
sweet!!! i love dumb blonde jokes no matter how much they offend my smart blonde friends. you rule!!! lol. ps i forgot to log on b4 i send this message
20.
sprenz | October 16, 2007 at 10:32 am
Q. If your inside your house, and all your walls face south, where is your house located?
A. the north pole
21.
Harry 8876 | October 20, 2007 at 2:18 pm
hahahahahA I LOVE THE Q OF THE WEEK!! ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FUNNY!!!!!!!
22.
maddie45467 | October 20, 2007 at 8:56 pm
THERE WAS A BRUNNET JUMPING ON TRAIN TRACKS SAYING 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 SO A BLONDE COMES OVER AND SAYS “WATCHA DOING?” THE BRUNNET SAYS “JUMPING ON RAILROAD TRACKS SAYING 21!” THE BLONDE SAYS CAN I DO IT WITH YOU?” THE BRUNNET SAYS “SURE!” SO A TRAIN STARTED COMING AND THE BLONDE SAID “BUT WON’T IT HIT US??” THE BRUNNET ANSWERED “NO” IT’LL STOP. THEN AS THE TRAIN IS ABOUT TO HIT THE BRUNNET JUMPS OFF THE TRACKS, GETS BACK ON AND STARTS JUMPING SAYING “22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22!”
23.
feathergrl55 | October 23, 2007 at 8:07 am
lol. i like reading these coments because, well, they’re funny as – im not gonna finish that lol. anyway, way to go! your funny and you post penguin stuff! ilike harley’s bomb out the window joke. idk but i think i told her that one last year…..
24.
Doo Fling | October 27, 2007 at 1:13 pm
can you have a “doctor, doctor” section?
25.
beetleblue | October 27, 2007 at 11:31 pm
good idea but lemme think bout it. any other ideas?
26.
maddie45467 | October 28, 2007 at 8:16 pm
BEETLE THAT WASN’T VERY NICE!! THATS LIKE SAYING “EH UR IDEA IS WIERD,ANY MORE???? PLEASE???” THATS NOT NICE!!!
27.
maddie45467 | October 28, 2007 at 8:16 pm
28.
beetleblue | November 9, 2007 at 2:24 am
No, its just that I am really busy and you know? submit ur jokes in the comments, but jokes u wanna be posted on top, email to me
29.
harley23 | November 11, 2007 at 1:56 pm
bb, it’s so funnyhow you put a BeetleBailey comic up there, because its like BeetleBlue-BeetleBailey!
30.
beetleblue | November 11, 2007 at 4:24 pm
lol. thats how my nickname came when i was young. my sibs used to call me beetlebailey. since that name wasnt avaialble on cp for me, it was beetleblue. but nobody called me beetleblue. i like the name beetle though!
31.
tanukii | November 11, 2007 at 4:51 pm
good to know a little history about you! well i got my name ‘tanuki i’ because ‘tanuki’ means raccoon in jp. and you know how i love raccoons with my old name and stuff.
32.
tanukii | November 11, 2007 at 4:52 pm
the ‘i’, its just my favorite letter.
33.
beetleblue | November 11, 2007 at 8:27 pm
oh rly? thats so cool! tanukii means raccoon. i like raccoons. i mean i like seeing them at night though i nvever do lol1
anyways….
34.
tanukii | November 12, 2007 at 12:58 am
yeah, once i saw a raccoon running across our lawn at night! it was funny! it then ran over to the neighbor’s yard!
35.
beetleblue | November 12, 2007 at 1:19 am
spooky!!
36.
maddie45467 | November 13, 2007 at 6:18 pm
K HERE GOES!!! THIS IS GONNA TAKE AWHILE BUT…………..
37.
maddie45467 | November 13, 2007 at 6:24 pm
THERE WAS A BLONDE, RED HEAD, AND BRUNETT AND THEY WHERE ALL TRAPPED IN A CASTLE. THE ONLY WAY TO GET OUT WAS TO STICK 16 OF SOME KIND OF FRUIT UP THERE BUTTS, WITHOUT LAUGHING. SO THE BRUNETT GOT GRAPES, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…….HA HA HA HA!!! SO OFF WITH HER HEAD. THEN THE RED HEAD GOT CHERRIES 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15………………..HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! SO OFF WITH HER HEAD. THEN THE BRUNETT AND THE RED HEAD MET IN HEAVEN AND THE BRUNETT ASKED THE RED HEAD “WHY’D YOU LAUGH??, YOU WERE SO CLOSE!!!!!” THE RED HEAD ANSWERED “BECAUSE I SAW THE BLONDE COMING WITH COCONUTS!
38.
Smartie495 | November 16, 2007 at 11:53 pm
this one is kinda long…..
there was a blonde red head and brunette running from the cops, they went to a farm to hide and when the cops came they scattered, the first cop went to the barn where the red head was hiding the red head started to moo so the cop thought it was a cow and the red head escaped
the next cop went to a tree where the brunette was hiding and the brunette started to chirp and the cop thought it was a bird so the brunette escaped
the last cop went to a sack of potatoes where the blonde was hiding and the blonde had watched her friends get away so she thought carefully and then yelled “POTATO POTATO POTATO”
39.
Smartie495 | November 16, 2007 at 11:55 pm
oh nevermind it seemed funnier when i said it to my friend, oh well
40.
Smartie495 | November 17, 2007 at 5:06 pm
im a really smart blonde but i luv blonde jokes………… of course ny buds would argue that SMART part……lol
41.
uguu | November 24, 2007 at 12:18 am
knock knock
who’s there?
shellbie
shellbie who?
she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes!
42.
loper23 | November 26, 2007 at 1:22 am
lol:
43.
loper23 | November 26, 2007 at 1:22 am
44.
Smartie495 | November 27, 2007 at 10:10 pm
hey does anyone think mine is funny just curious i dont really care so it wont effect me
45.
onlyou | November 30, 2007 at 3:32 am
why didnt the skeleton crose the road?
becuse he didnt have to guts
46.
onlyou | November 30, 2007 at 3:43 am
heres a long/scary/funny storie:::::::
on the corner of soul street there was a creepy house with ghosts .so three ghost busters came to the house with scisers,gun,and a knife.the one with scisers whent in the house and herd the chanting:when i find ya iam going to haunt ya then iam going eat ya.so he got scared and jumped out of a window.the one with a knife went in and went in the house he herd the chanting :wen i find ya iam going to huant ya then iam going to eat ya.he got scared and jumped out the window.the one with a gun went in and herd the chanting :when i find ya iam going to huant ya then iam going to eat ya .he wasnt scared so he went forther and foerther and forther intil……………………….he came up to a coubored and opened it and found a kid in it picking his nose saying :wen i find ya iam going to huant ya then iam going to eat ya.
47.
onlyou | November 30, 2007 at 3:44 am
sorry if theres alot of miss spelled words
:”)
48.
onlyou | November 30, 2007 at 3:44 am
wups
:”(
49.
Smartie495 | November 30, 2007 at 9:22 pm
i have heard that story a lot its sorta weird
50.
Maddie45467 | December 9, 2007 at 5:31 pm
51.
beetleblue | December 9, 2007 at 9:55 pm
wut?
52.
Smartie495 | December 10, 2007 at 12:07 am
huh
53.
feathergrl55 | December 24, 2007 at 12:25 pm
doctor doctor! i feel like a goat.
when did this start?
it started and has been with me ever since i was a kid.
doctor doctor! i feel like a fly!
ok, well first, get down from the ceiling.
54.
feathergrl55 | December 24, 2007 at 12:32 pm
here’s another , beware kinda long -
three girls – blonde, red, and brown heads – were arrested for a crime they didn’t commit. they were convicted guilty by the jury and sent to the electric chair.the red head said: i have faith in god to get me out of this mess and not shocked. the chair didn’t shock her, and the cops sank to their knees, begged forgiveness, and let her go. the brown head said: i have faith in god to get me out of here unshocked. she didn’t get shocked either, so the cops let her go, begging forgiveness on their knees. the blonde head said: i graduated from – your fav’ colledge – engineering classes and i say you aint gonna shock no one with this chair!!!!
thought the blonde would be dumb, didn’t ya?
55.
Lightbubb | February 2, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Q:Why are penguin’s favorite treat fish?
A:Because! Cheese is very hard to catch!
56.
ruthrose8 | February 13, 2008 at 11:16 pm
ok heres a jk bfor i tell u, the answer is gonna b speled backwards….
a plane crashed near a hill and everybody died 29 years later campers found 5 ppl dead in a cabin how did they die?
a:yeht erew ni eht enalp nibac
57.
ruthrose8 | February 23, 2008 at 11:31 pm
ok nother jk……
q.wat do u say at a ducks b-day?
a.quacky birthday!
58.
adioboard | February 24, 2008 at 4:09 am
A man was walking home halloween night when a coffin came chasing after him it raced down the street
clakity
clakity clakity
he ran home and shut the door but it bursted through he ran upstairs and the coffin followed him
clakity clakity clakity
he locked himself in the bathroom and the coffin burst through the door the only thing in the bathroom was a bottle of cough syrup he grabbed the cough syrup hurled it at the coffin and……………………….
Get ready
The coffin stopped rofl
59.
ruthrose8 | February 25, 2008 at 4:40 am
60.
Tijopi11 | May 7, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I like ur jokes too Ruthrose!
61.
2008sarah | May 9, 2008 at 8:29 pm
“Oh, ‘twas all in the summertime,
Our hearts did sadly grieve,
The searats stole up in the night,
And with our babes did leave.
Full four and thirty little shrews
Were taken to be slaves,
To live in misery or refuse
And die in watery graves.
But then a mighty warrior
Did come along our way;
We knew what fate had sent him for,
When these words he did say:
‘Come follow me down to the sea,
Across the mountains track,
And I will set your young ones free;
I’ll bring those babies back.’
And then with mighty chunks of rock,
He dammed the great broadstream
And gave those foul searats a shock,
Which caused them all to scream.
He came with death held in his paw,
Which no rat born could face.
Oh woe to those who break the law
Of Sunflash and his mace.
Take warning all you bold searats,
Who plough the raging main,
Steal not out babes, and come not near
Our peaceful shores again,
For fear you meet the Badger Lord,
He of the gold-marked face,
For you’ll meet death once you’ve met
The Warrior with the mace.”
62.
rosiebarp213 | June 3, 2008 at 9:48 am
http://rosiebarp213.wordpress.com/
63.
Irishbest7 | June 11, 2008 at 11:13 pm
a dumb blonde go’s up to a person and asks;”hey wat does *idk* mean??” and the person go’s;”i dont know” and the blonde go’s;” omg nobody knows……..”
64.
Ruthrose8 | June 12, 2008 at 1:30 am
yo mama jokes……..
1. yo mamas so big when she sat down she took up 982343 chairs
2. yo mamas so smelly that when she went to a worldwide meeting the population went down to one
3. yo mamas so big that when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck
dumb blonde jokes…..
there was a blonde and a brunnete hanging off a rope on a cliff.if they both held on they would break the rope the brunnete made a long heartwarming bitiful spech of how she would sacrefice herself and at the end the blonde clapped
_____________________________________________
a dumb blonde was walking down the sidewalk and saw a sign it said CLEAN BATHROOMS 3 MILES the blonde cleaned 53 bathrooms then she saw a sign and it said CLEAN BURGER JOINTS 3 MILES she cleaned 42 burger joints then she saw a sign that read NANCY DREW PLAYING NOW so she wondered why would ppl wanna know if somones playing?
ok there were three boys and they got 1 wish a boy the oldest ran into the river and yelled GOLD!!he landed in a pile of gold the second oldest ran into the river and yelled SILVER!!!! and landed in apile of silver the ypungest went running in to the river but stubbed his toe on the dock he yelled OH CRAP!!! and he landed in a pile of you-know-what
65.
jsparton | June 14, 2008 at 10:31 pm
get you buts in 08
66.
ruthrose8 | November 27, 2008 at 9:58 pm
yo mamas so dum she took a sppon to the superbowl
yo mamas so dum she took a bat to a football game
CORNY JOKES
qhat did the farmer say when he lost his tracktor
wheres my tracktor
what did the penguin say when somone asked him if he wanted a beta hat
youe beta i do!
DOCTER
a guy went to the docter and told him it hurts when i do this(throw arm back)so the doctor seaid then dont do this!
doctor doctor a pig bit my toe off!
well lets find the little piggey
why was six afraid of seven?cause seven eight nine!
67.
Adioboard | August 9, 2009 at 5:01 pm
the difference between cats and dogs.
dogs mind: wow these peeople feed me give me baths give me treats and pet me they must be gods!
cats mind:wow these peopl feed me bathe me give me treats and pet me i must be a god!